I went to KOC last night at met the wonderful cindi for a drinK. Cindy and i were both playing video games when i noticed a man at the end of the bar by himself. Now after the unforgivable rudeness at the way i was treated at the savoy i figured i would say hello and tell him everyone in the bar's name sort of a Julie your cruise director kinda thing. Long story short the guy was a freak total stalker boy, and when i would'nt stop playing video games he got all pissed off saying " so are you just jerking me around or are we gonna fuck or what ". Carrie and William let me hang out in the bar after closing just to make sure he was gone. I try to be nice and end up meeting Mr. bunny boiler.
So tonight i went to the gym and swam laps, little man is wide awake( my dog !) so i don't sleep is going to be happening anytime soon
I watched the season finale of season one of Everwood tonight. Season 2 and 3 are'nt out on DVD yet but it gave me one of the heathiest cries I've had in years. There's a scene when this teenage character Colin is about to go into to brain surgery and his mother shaves his head for him.
And alone in my room I was allowed to mourn my lost teenage years. For those of you who dont know I spent most of 12 and 13 in the hospital with bone cancer in my skull. I'm one of the very very lucky ones and I survived, it saved my parents marriage and they even had another kid. I was basically told every day how lucky i was and how blessed I am and how I should always be thankful, AND I AM !!..... BUT..... i was'nt given a clean bill of health till i was 18 and the ages of 12 till 18 are really hard years to be forced to give up , and then be told that your lucky !! A whole chunk of childhood, and friendships missing and now tonight stone cold sober and 22 years late I finally allowed my self a good cry
and now after letting go i realize just how lucky i really am